"Auntie? Why is it dark? Why is it light? Why is it cold? Why is it warm?"
These are all stalling tactics in my four-year-old niece's campaign against sleeping at bedtime.
"Well, let me see your kitty and your car key..."
This is plastic, brand new, and therefore must be slept with; my brother used to sleep with balloons tied to his wrist or with brand new shoes on, so I don't judge.
"See, if your kitty's paw is the sun, and your car key is the Earth, the Earth goes around the sun in a circle, like this. It takes one year to do this. While the Earth goes around the sun, it spins. When Norway (which is here) faces the sun it is day, and when it turns away it is night. Okay, so, the Earth is kind of crooked (for brevity's sake I left out the whole 23.5 degrees from perihelion nonsense...plus, I can't say that in Norwegian). When the Earth is here, Norway is away, which is winter. Like now. When the Earth is here, Norway is closer to the sun, which is summer. Do you understand?"
"Haaaeee?"
"More questions?"
She shakes her head, looking at me like I'm a lunatic.
"Okay, then, goodnight!"
Kid: 2,000,000. Me: 1 ½*.
* ½ is my taking credit for teaching her to use "okay" as a question, or as a statement of cheerful compliance, resignation, irritation or excitement, etc.
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